Title:Get Lost!
Date:27-5-09
Time:1.20 p.m

Test are all coming up all at one go...
2 Lap Tests and 2 Quizzes are coming up next week.
Like ever, time did not stop for me but without my acknowledge, it just keep "ticking" away.
I feel so bored. It is not because i have no friend in my class, however sometimes they just make me feel like i am isolated.
Or is it me, who wants to be isolated?
Looking through Blogs of my Secondary School friends.
From my best friend to friends, i simply just vanish into thin air.
Maybe i should be best forgotten, or i had not met anyone true to me.
In their special list, i am never there, in their birthday lists, you can find people that are not really close to them, yet you can never find me.
I am a plague?
Or am i contracted with some incurable diseases?

No use of adding me, no use of saying sorry.
Cause i know you people, simply kick me away when you find every possible chances to do so.
Save your explanations or words you like to hit me with.
I might be sad that no one cares, however i would not give a damn if you want to hurt me.

Though things might be stressful this few days, weeks or the coming month, i am so glad that i found my German friend back!
Hurray!
Despite all the troubles i went through, and we missed contact with each other for about a year, i finally found him!
He listens to my troubles... Like a dairy =x
I did turn to others when i have troubles, yet... some just gave me "one word of advice" to stop me from bothering them...
I shall not talk about them anymore!
Have to get back to my presentation slides for tomorrow!
Bye! =D

Time : 1.13 a.m
Date : 9 May 09


Gosh...
I am broke!
Totally broke.
No cash no whatever...
Dad refused to give me money since i spend almost $10 everyday.
No blames no hate.
Just that i really do not know what to do!
How i hope that i can survive in this world without any food nor drinks!
OK, without any drink is a bit exaggerate.
Nowadays it is Bh who is always treating me food.
To be serious, i do not like that to happen.
It is not like i am dating him for the sake of money but recently it does seems like it to me.
Being really good to me, he feels sorry to see me starve.
I know perfectly that he feels bad spending his family money.
I feel bad too, be it spending his money or my parents money.
What can i say?
I am just a human but not a robot.
So maybe i could just eat one meal a day?
Take it as i am on a diet!
Cool isn't it?
I will find another solution soon.

Time flies...
Without really realising it, it had been the third week in school.
I joined a CCA of my choice - SP String Ensemble
Choice of the instrument i want to play is Violin.



Ha ha... A dream come true for me?
Since i was young, i fancied all kinds of instrument!
When i was Kinder-garden, i wanted to learn piano!



Yet Mum disagrees with that since we did not owned any piano at home.
I was sad...
I remembered that when i was in Primary 5 or 6, i saw students playing Violin on stage, it was amazing!



Went home and told my Mum how excited i was, how much i liked to join them, however Mum was against the idea of it again.
Reason is i am a flicked minded person.
Of course her doubts in me has a reason.
I wondered... Was i tricked to, or did i volunteered myself to join the Abacus class.
Mum paid over a hundred dollars and half way through, i gave up.

I am really confused now.
How i wish to learn ballet, piano, violin in the past.
Ballet is definitely a regret.
Violin, is almost coming true.
However, yesterday when i saw Bh playing violin, i was hooked.
Not too sure that if hooked is being use correctly...
But... i cannot really describe that feeling, i felt that he was amazing.
I am not suitable to play any instruments.



Yes... I do look down on myself.
I am afraid that i am too stupid so i always try to escape.
I feel the fear in me. It is telling me
"Never to try anything, unless you think you can do it".
I guess i will end here today.
Gotta get some sleep.
Night.

Suddenly feel that i am like the guy who needs "handsome suit". =S

Time: 1150 a.m
Date: 7-5-09

Title...

Today started off bad.
Had a nightmare...
Dreamt that Bh wanted to breakup with me... :s
Was seriously so sad that i woke up because of it...
I can still feel how shock i was and how sad i became after hearing what he had told me.
In that dream, he was sad too.
After this nightmare, i went back to sleep, hope to know if we did patched up...
(LAME!)
Perhaps i should not had chose to go back to my dreamland but to stay awake...
If i had chose to be awake, i am sure i would not be late today.
I wonder why i am always came late on Thursday...
Yesterday i even reach school One hour earlier...
7.20a.m i reached Dover when my lesson will start only at 830a.m.

Today i was totally freaked out when i wake up at 715!
Lesson is starting at 8a.m!
I rushed my way to the MRT Station and i boarded a train.
I was surprise that i got in the wrong train!
This reminds me of this particular Sunday.
I went to Red Hill and meet Bh.
We went to the library to study and it was as strict as the SP.
Later when i was on my way home in the train, i fell asleep.
I woke up at Chinese Garden.
I took the train back to Jurong East.
I fell asleep again and woke up at Clementi.
I took the train to Jurong East again.
Finally i got to Jurong East.
I took the train to Woodlands.
Fell asleep AGAIN and i ended up at Sembawang!
Take another train...
Sigh... Luckily i got to my destination after that.

Well... I shall stop complaining.
Last but not least, thank you Ram!
Ha ha...

Date : 2 May 2009.
Time : 10.20 p.m

What a tiring day.
Went to Gym with Willy, Fuk Kin, Jui Hao and Bh.

Yesterday i was really upset.
Thanks for everyone's concern =D
Talking about yesterday...
I broke a bottle of beer in the supermarket!
Luckily Bh n i were not hurt.
He was really sweet, he picked out all the broken glass inside my shoe and make sure that it is safe for me to wear...
Though i ended up spending $3.50 more, i was quite happy to see his care for me.

Suddenly i had this weird and sad feeling, growing inside me.
I know i must enjoy myself now to be able to enjoy the future.
I know i have to treasure each and everything i have.
Yet knowing and doing is a complete different thing.
I tend to worry about future a lot.
What happen if this happen?
What to do and how can i avoid myself from getting into that situation?
How can i not hurt myself?
In the end, i chose to be overly protective towards myself.
However the more i learn to love, the more i get closer to being hurt.
I am afraid that he will get bored with me vice-verse too, afraid he will leave me soon.
Yet i cannot stop myself from missing him.

Lame...
Anyway, i might be dying soon, if not now, it might be 3 years later.
The destruction cause by the Sun.
If not by swine flu.
Living each day as if there is no tomorrow?
That is my goal from now.
Living each day to its' fullest.
Love you guys.

♥ Twinkle ' address her by this
♥ a secret ' her b'dae
Singapore Poly ' her school

be with him 4ever =x
Lastinq mmrs
Everyone to be happy xD

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