happy;ness ♥

.Friday, August 29, 2008 ' 7:44 AM Y

A big sorry to my dearest friend Ft!
There are a lots of things you never know.
Or things i never ever dare to say with a lot of fears.
I never thought you would come here!
Though it is never an excuse to it.
Sometimes i am really tired the other times how i wish you are there for me.
What is your feeling after reading or the things i have kept?
There are more of such.
To everyone, to anyone, i kept my mouth to.
I do not wish to hurt people.
Especially people i really like.
Though sometimes i will let out a bit.
This is a letter to you.
Since people who visit my blog isn't people i know other than you and him i think this is an OK idea?

Really i like to assume things.
People say i should just speak my mind out and tell you how i felt.
Yet what if you think i am very troublesome and do not want to be my friend?
Maybe this is a "当局者迷"type of things.

Take the party for instance, if you never read, i never ask, i will take it as i ruined your day.
Bh said he thinks you will not be happy if i did not attend; maybe others will.
I think otherwise.
Wendell said i should confirm with you, let you know about what i feel.
I think i should not.

I am glad that you said you are feeling fine now!
Really i do.
I feel so bad knowing you read my blog.
Perhaps because i wanted to write really personal feelings so i chose not to let others know my blog.
Yet i am happy.
Happy and thankful you read my blog!
I read your blog often too!

Though sometimes when i am alone, i feel like no one is my friend.
However to be really frank, when you are there i feel so nice.
I mean at least i speak all my thoughts out? Even things i planned not to say.
Lol.
OK. We went out topic rather often too.
However the reasons is you know a lot about me.

Lastly.
I am still very sorry about hurting you.
SORRY!
Meet you tomorrow then!